English
When my in-breaths and out-breaths were stopped from my mouth, nose, and ears, an excessive burning arose in my body. Just as, Prince, two strong men might seize a weaker man by both arms and roast and torment him over a pit of live coals, even so, Prince, when my in-breaths and out-breaths were stopped from my mouth, nose, and ears, an excessive burning arose in my body. My energy, Prince, was aroused and unflagging, my mindfulness established and unconfused, but my body was agitated and not calmed, because of that painful striving, as I was afflicted by the striving. And also, Prince, deities, seeing me, said this: 'The ascetic Gotama has died.' Some deities said this: 'The ascetic Gotama has not died, but he is dying.' Other deities said this: 'The ascetic Gotama has not died, nor is he dying. The ascetic Gotama is an Arahant. Such is the way of an Arahant's dwelling.' Then, Prince, it occurred to me: 'What if I were to practice complete cessation of food?' Then, Prince, me... Prince, devas approached and said this: 'Do not, good sir, practice complete cessation of food. If you, good sir, practice complete cessation of food, we shall infuse divine essence into you through your pores, and by that you will sustain yourself.' Then, Prince, this occurred to me: 'If I were to claim to be completely without food, and these devas were to infuse divine essence into me through my pores, and by that I were to sustain myself, that would be a lie for me.' So, Prince, I dismissed those devas. I said, 'Enough!' Then, Prince, this occurred to me: 'What if I were to take a little food, a little food, a handful, a handful, whether it be mung bean broth, or horse gram broth, or chickpea broth, or lentil broth?' So, Prince, I took a little food, a little food, a handful, a handful, whether it be mung bean broth, or horse gram broth, or chickpea broth, or lentil broth. As I, Prince, took a little food, a little food, a handful, a handful, whether it be mung bean broth, or horse gram broth, or chickpea broth, or lentil broth, my body became extremely emaciated. Just as the joints of an eighty-year-old or a ninety-year-old man are gnarled, even so my limbs and minor limbs became gnarled due to that very little food. Just as a camel's hoof, even so my buttocks became like that due to that very little food. Just as a string of beads, even so my backbone became prominent and sunken due to that very little food. Just as the rafters of an old, dilapidated house are broken and fallen apart, even so my ribs became broken and fallen apart due to that very little food. Just as in a deep well, the water-stars (reflections) Deeply sunken and visible, Just so, my pupils in their eye-sockets Were deeply sunken and visible Due to that very lack of nourishment. Just as a bitter gourd, freshly cut, Shrivels and withers in wind and sun, Just so, my scalp shrivelled and withered Due to that very lack of nourishment. And I, prince, When I would touch my belly-skin, Grasped only my backbone; When I would touch my backbone, Grasped only my belly-skin. So much, prince, Had my belly-skin clung to my backbone Due to that very lack of nourishment. And I, prince, When I would relieve myself Of excrement or urine, Fell over right there, face down, Due to that very lack of nourishment. And I, prince, Trying to comfort this very body, Stroked my limbs with my hand. As I, prince, Stroked my limbs with my hand, My hairs, rotted at the roots, Fell from my body Due to that very lack of nourishment. And moreover, prince, People seeing me said thus: 'The ascetic Gotama is dark-skinned.' Some people said thus: 'The ascetic Gotama is not dark-skinned, He is dusky.' Other people said thus: 'The ascetic Gotama is neither dark-skinned Nor dusky, He has a mottled skin.' So much, prince, Had my pure, bright skin-color been spoiled Due to that very lack of nourishment. 335. Then it occurred to me, prince: 'Whatever ascetics or brahmins In the past Experienced painful, sharp, Severe, bitter feelings Due to self-exertion, This was the utmost, No more than this. And whatever ascetics or brahmins In the future Will experience painful, sharp, Severe, bitter feelings Due to self-exertion, This will be the utmost, No more than this. And whatever ascetics or brahmins At present Are experiencing painful, sharp, Severe, bitter feelings Due to self-exertion...' painful, sharp, harsh, bitter feelings I felt, and nothing beyond that. But by this bitter, difficult ascetic practice, I did not attain a superhuman state, a distinction of noble knowledge and vision. Might there be another path to awakening? Then, prince, it occurred to me: "I recall that when my father, the Sakyan, was working, I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, and I entered and remained in the first jhāna, which is accompanied by initial application and sustained application, born of seclusion, filled with rapture and pleasure. Might that be the path to awakening?" Then, prince, my consciousness followed that memory: "This is indeed the path to awakening." Then, prince, it occurred to me: "Why should I be afraid of that pleasure which is apart from sensual pleasures, apart from unwholesome states?" Then, prince, it occurred to me: "I am not afraid of that pleasure which is apart from sensual pleasures, apart from unwholesome states." Then, prince, it occurred to me: "It is not easy to attain that pleasure with a body so extremely emaciated. What if I were to take some coarse food, some rice and gruel?" So, prince, I took some coarse food, some rice and gruel. At that time, prince, the group of five monks were attending on me, thinking: "Whatever Dhamma the ascetic Gotama attains, he will tell us." But when, prince, I took some coarse food, some rice and gruel, then those five monks became disillusioned and left me, saying: "The ascetic Gotama has become luxurious, he has given up striving, he has reverted to luxury." So, prince, having taken coarse food, having gained strength, quite secluded from sensual pleasures... ...I entered the first jhāna... I entered and remained. With the stilling of applied thought and sustained thought… I entered and remained in the second jhāna… the third jhāna… the fourth jhāna. When my mind was thus concentrated, purified, bright, unblemished, rid of defilements, pliant, workable, steady, and attained to imperturbability, I directed it to the knowledge of recollecting past lives. I recollected my manifold past lives, that is, one birth, two births… and so I recollected my manifold past lives, with their aspects and details. This, O prince, was the first knowledge I attained in the first watch of the night. Ignorance was dispelled, knowledge arose; darkness was dispelled, light arose— as is fitting for one who dwells diligent, ardent, and resolute. When my mind was thus concentrated, purified, bright, unblemished, rid of defilements, pliant, workable, steady, and attained to imperturbability, I directed it to the knowledge of the passing away and reappearance of beings. With the divine eye, purified and surpassing human sight, I saw beings passing away and reappearing, inferior and superior, beautiful and ugly, fortunate and unfortunate, and I understood beings according to their actions… This, O prince, was the second knowledge I attained in the middle watch of the night. Ignorance was dispelled, knowledge arose; darkness was dispelled, light arose— as is fitting for one who dwells diligent, ardent, and resolute. When my mind was thus concentrated, purified, bright, unblemished, rid of defilements, pliant, workable, steady, and attained to imperturbability, I directed it to the knowledge of the destruction of the taints. I directly knew, as it actually is, ‘This is suffering’… I directly knew, as it actually is, ‘This is the path leading to the cessation of suffering’; I directly knew, as it actually is, ‘These are the taints’… I directly knew, as it actually is, ‘This is the path leading to the cessation of the taints’. When I knew and saw thus, my mind was liberated from the taint of sensual desire, my mind was liberated from the taint of becoming, my mind was liberated from the taint of ignorance. was liberated. In liberation, the knowledge 'I am liberated' arose. 'Destroyed is birth, lived is the holy life, done is what had to be done, there is no more for this state of being,' I understood. This, O Prince, was my third knowledge attained in the last watch of the night; ignorance was dispelled, knowledge arose; darkness was dispelled, light arose – as is fitting for one who dwells heedful, ardent, and resolute. 337. Then, O Prince, this thought occurred to me: 'This Dhamma I have attained is profound, difficult to see, difficult to comprehend, peaceful, excellent, beyond the sphere of reasoning, subtle, to be experienced by the wise. But this generation delights in attachment, rejoices in attachment, is pleased with attachment. For a generation that delights in attachment, rejoices in attachment, is pleased with attachment, this state is difficult to see: namely, specific conditionality, dependent origination. This state is also difficult to see: namely, the calming of all formations, the relinquishing of all acquisitions, the destruction of craving, dispassion, cessation, Nibbāna. If I were to teach the Dhamma, and others would not understand me, that would be weariness for me, that would be vexation for me.' And, O Prince, these verses, never heard before, spontaneously arose in me: 'With difficulty have I attained this; enough now with proclaiming it. By those overcome with lust and hatred, this Dhamma is not easily understood. 'Going against the current, subtle, profound, difficult to see, minute; Those steeped in passion will not see it, shrouded as they are by a mass of darkness.'