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B0102020104mahāyamakavaggo (great pair sutra)

English

excessive pains arose in my head. My energy, Aggivessana, was aroused, unflagging, my mindfulness established, unconfused. Yet my body was agitated, not calmed, by that painful striving, by the striving's oppression. Even such painful feelings, Aggivessana, arising, did not overcome my mind. Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: ‘What if I were to practice meditation without breathing?’ So I, Aggivessana, stopped breathing in and out through my mouth, and nose, and ears. When breathing in and out through mouth, and nose, and ears was stopped, Aggivessana, excessive winds cut into my belly. Just as, Aggivessana, a skilled butcher or his apprentice might cut open an ox's belly with a sharp butcher's knife, Just so, Aggivessana, when my in-breaths and out-breaths were stopped from mouth, nose, and ears, violent winds cut through my belly. Yet, Aggivessana, my energy was aroused, unflagging, my mindfulness established, unconfused. My body was agitated, not calmed, by that painful striving, as I was oppressed by the striving. Even such painful feelings, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overcome my mind. Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: ‘What if I were to meditate without any breathing?’ So I, Aggivessana, stopped my in-breaths and out-breaths from mouth, nose, and ears. As my in-breaths and out-breaths were stopped from mouth, nose, and ears, an extreme burning arose in my body. Just as, Aggivessana, two strong men might seize a weaker man by both arms and roast and torment him over a pit of glowing coals, just so, Aggivessana, as my in-breaths and out-breaths were stopped from mouth, nose, and ears, an extreme burning arose in my body. Yet, Aggivessana, my energy was aroused, unflagging, my mindfulness established, unconfused. My body was agitated, not calmed, by that painful striving, as I was oppressed by the striving. Even such painful feelings, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overcome my mind. And some deities, Aggivessana, seeing me, said: ‘The ascetic Gotama has died.’ Other deities said: ‘The ascetic Gotama has not died, but he is dying.’ Still other deities said: ‘The ascetic Gotama has not died, nor is he dying. The ascetic Gotama is an Arahant, and such is the way of an Arahant’s abiding.’ 379. Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: ‘What if I were to I would practice complete cessation of food. Then, Aggivessana, deities came to me and said this: 'Do not, good sir, practice complete cessation of food. If you, good sir, practice complete cessation of food, we will infuse divine essence into you through your pores, and by that you will sustain yourself.' Then, Aggivessana, this thought occurred to me: 'If I were to claim to be completely without food, and these deities were to infuse divine essence into me through my pores, and by that I were to sustain myself, that would be a lie for me.' So, Aggivessana, I rejected those deities, saying 'Enough!' 380. Then, Aggivessana, this thought occurred to me: 'What if I were to take food little by little, a handful at a time, be it mung bean broth, or horse gram broth, or chickpea broth, or lentil broth?' So, Aggivessana, I took food little by little, a handful at a time, be it mung bean broth, or horse gram broth, or chickpea broth, or lentil broth. As I, Aggivessana, took food little by little, a handful at a time, be it mung bean broth, or horse gram broth, or chickpea broth, or lentil broth, my body became extremely emaciated. Just as are the knotty joints of a reed, even so did my limbs and minor limbs become, due to that very scant eating. Just as is a camel's hoofprint, even so did my buttocks become, due to that very scant eating. Just as is a string of beads, even so did my backbone become, protruding and receding, due to that very scant eating. Just as are the rafters of an old, dilapidated house, even so did my ribs become, standing out. My limbs became knotty, due to that very little food. Just as, for example, in a deep well, the water-stars are seen deep down and sunken, even so, in my eye-sockets, my eye-pupils were seen deep down and sunken, due to that very little food. Just as, for example, a bitter gourd, freshly cut, becomes shriveled and withered by wind and sun, even so, my scalp became shriveled and withered, due to that very little food. Then I, Aggivessana, when I tried to touch my belly-skin, I grasped only my backbone. When I tried to touch my backbone, I grasped only my belly-skin. So much, Aggivessana, was my belly-skin clinging to my backbone, due to that very little food. Then I, Aggivessana, when I tried to pass stool or urine, I fell over right there, face down, due to that very little food. Then I, Aggivessana, trying to comfort this very body, massaged my limbs with my hand. As I, Aggivessana, massaged my limbs with my hand, hairs with rotten roots fell from my body, due to that very little food. And moreover, Aggivessana, people seeing me said this: 'The ascetic Gotama is dark-skinned.' Some people said this: 'The ascetic Gotama is not dark-skinned, he is dusky.' Some people said this: 'The ascetic Gotama is not dark-skinned, nor dusky, he has a mottled skin.' So much, Aggivessana, was my pure, bright skin-color damaged, due to that very little food. Then it occurred to me, Aggivessana: 'Whatever ascetics or brahmins in the past experienced painful, sharp, severe, bitter feelings due to self-exertion, this was the utmost, not more than this.' 'And whatever ascetics or brahmins in the future will experience painful, sharp, severe, bitter feelings due to self-exertion, this will be the utmost, not more than this.' 'And whatever ascetics or brahmins at present experience painful, sharp, severe, bitter feelings due to self-exertion, These sharp, harsh, bitter feelings they make me feel. This is the utmost, nothing more than this. But by this bitter, difficult ascetic practice, I do not attain a superhuman state, a distinction of noble knowledge and vision. Might there be another path to awakening? Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: 'I recall that while my father, the Sakyan, was working, I sat in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, and entered upon and abided in the first jhāna, which is accompanied by initial application and sustained application, born of seclusion, and filled with rapture and pleasure. Might this be the path to awakening?' Then, Aggivessana, my consciousness followed that memory: 'This indeed is the path to awakening.' Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: 'Why should I fear that pleasure, which is apart from sensual pleasures, apart from unwholesome states?' Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: 'I do not fear that pleasure, which is apart from sensual pleasures, apart from unwholesome states.' 382. Then, Aggivessana, it occurred to me: 'It is not easy to attain that pleasure with a body so extremely emaciated. What if I were to eat some solid food, some rice and gruel?' So, Aggivessana, I ate some solid food, some rice and gruel. Now, Aggivessana, at that time five monks were attending on me, thinking: 'Whatever Dhamma the ascetic Gotama attains, he will tell us.' But when, Aggivessana, I ate some solid food, some rice and gruel, then those five monks, disgusted, left me, saying: 'The ascetic Gotama has become luxurious, he has given up his striving, he has reverted to luxury.' 383. So, Aggivessana, having eaten solid food, having gained strength, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from... From unwholesome states, with thought and with examination, born of seclusion, with rapture and pleasure, I entered and dwelled in the first jhāna. Yet even such a pleasant feeling, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overpower my mind. With the calming of thought and examination, with internal assurance, the mind's unification, without thought, without examination, born of concentration, with rapture and pleasure, I entered and dwelled in the second jhāna. Yet even such a pleasant feeling, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overpower my mind. With the fading of rapture, I dwelled in equanimity, mindful and clearly comprehending. And I experienced pleasure with the body, that which the noble ones declare: 'Equanimous, mindful, dwelling in pleasure.' I entered and dwelled in the third jhāna. Yet even such a pleasant feeling, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overpower my mind. With the abandoning of pleasure, and the abandoning of pain, and with the prior passing away of joy and sorrow, I entered and dwelled in the fourth jhāna, which is neither painful nor pleasant, pure equanimity and mindfulness. Yet even such a pleasant feeling, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overpower my mind. 384. So, with my mind thus concentrated, purified, bright, unblemished, rid of defilements, pliant, workable, steady, attained to imperturbability, I directed my mind to the knowledge of the recollection of past lives. I recollected my manifold past lives, that is to say: one birth... and so on... Thus, with their aspects and details, I recollected my manifold past lives. This, Aggivessana, was the first knowledge I attained in the first watch of the night. Ignorance was dispelled, knowledge arose; darkness was dispelled, light arose; as happens to one who dwells diligent, ardent, and resolute. Yet even such a pleasant feeling, Aggivessana, arising in me, did not overpower my mind. 385. So, with my mind thus concentrated, purified, bright, unblemished, rid of defilements, pliant, workable, steady, attained to imperturbability, I directed my mind to the knowledge of the passing away and reappearing of beings. With the divine eye, purified and surpassing human sight, I saw beings passing away and reappearing, inferior and superior, fair-skinned and ill-favored, fortunate and unfortunate. I understood beings according to their karma... This, indeed, Aggivessana, was the second knowledge